I am alive. . .

Hi everyone. . .I hope you are doing well! Just last week when I thought I was back, the Jewish holidays hit me at the same time as a fever did - I have been fighting a fever since last Wednesday. Last night was the first night in days that I didn't go to bed and wake up with a fever. Then in the middle of all of this, my husband's car broke down and we unexpectedly had to deal with that (who wants to look for a new car in this market??) and then my daughter had her 6 year check up. All was fine and good, until the part where they look at the spine and our doctor (who I love) takes out some handy-dandy measuring gadget and measures her back. ..can you feel my concern??? So, he tells me that she has a 4% curvature in her spine - WHAT? Where did that come from? When did that happen? Is there something we can do about it?

Apparently, there is no reason to panic/freakout/do unreasonable amounts of googling YET. ..they will check it again at her 7th birthday and so long as it stays relatively the same, we are okay. If it increases significantly. . .then that is another story.

Then my daughter was asked by her PE Coach to give her cross country club/team a try. I thought that was kinda cool, but in all honesty, I didn't really think she would have the interest in it. While she love to sprint and race you, she isn't much into running around the track endlessly. And she isn't much into pacing herself - she either wants to run quickly and beat you or not at all. So, she does give the team a try and ultimately she isn't really into it. She says if she does cross country she doesn't get to play before school or at lunch -she just has to run. So, fair enough, I tell her no biggie, she doesn't have to do it. She tried it and didn't like it and that is totally okay. Well, I guess easier said than done. My poor little 6 year old has been in emotional drama since yesterday.

One of her bestest buds at school is doing cross country and that is who she plays with at lunch recess everyday. Well, easy enough, I say, you have lots of other friends, go play with one of them. Allie looks at me and moans that I don't understand because she and her friend M play jump rope and hula hoop everyday and none of the other first grade girls want to do that. So, I tell her that not everyone might want to jump rope and hula hoop and that is okay and perhaps she can find something else to do. She says she doesn't understand why they don't want to do jump rope and hula hooping as its sooo much fun. I tell her that they might feel that way about the things they are playing - I ask her about one of her other close buddies, A. She tells me she plays cats & dogs or chases boys at lunch - I suggest that might be fun - she tells me no.

So, then I name a few other friends and for various reasons nothing I say is a good idea. And by the way, these are all friends she gets together with quite a bit after school and on the weekends.

Then I realize it, there is nothing any conversation is going to do to make her feel better. Her little world is being rocked a little bit. . .her buddy that she is used to hanging out at lunch with is choosing to participate in another activity for the next 2 months and as much as Allie wants to be with her friend M, she doesn't like cross country enough to do it just so she can be with her. But yet, the thought of not being with M at lunch is a little overwhelming and scary to Allie - when she is in her comfort zone, she is great. When she isn't , she is a little reserved and shy and unsure of herself.

So, as her mom, I see how worried she is about what she will do at lunch (my husband says he thinks I'm more traumatized than she is ). . .at least so far, in all honesty, I see her being a bit of a stronger, independent person than her mother. I would choose to be with friends even if it meant doing something I didn't want to do. . .but at least as of now, that idea isn't interesting to her. She would rather play by herself and do what she wants to do or keep looking for those people who do what she wants to do.

And to be honest with you, why can't I say good for her for being independent? I guess because the thought of her being alone and not with friends at lunch makes me sad. . .

Well, I think it was my grandmother who said, that which doesn't kill you, makes you stronger and even at 6, Allie will learn from this little life experience. And my hubby tells me - she will figure it out. . .but it still doesn't make it easier for me to watch from the side lines. ..