Monday, July 7, 2008

You Look Great - How Far Along Are You?

I have to tell you, I had a lovely 4th of July post all planned. Wanted to share with you our fabulous weekend - by the way, did you know cookie cutters work just as well on shaping your hamburgers??? Sadly, I do believe I was the most excited person when my girlfriend Michelle suggested we make Stars and Heart shaped hamburgers - but I do want to pass along that fabulous tip and let you know it really worked! I actually have picture, and I want to share them with you - but I need to get back to my post.

So, Missy Miss and I are shopping at the mall (which, I must tell you, I think when God passed out shopping genes, he clearly missed my child - and what is that all about? There are certain things that a mommy looks forward to sharing with her daughter and shopping is absolutely one of them! But, I digress. . .) and we are in a department store. Just as we are leaving the Hannah Montana/Camp Rock/HSM attire, I see someone I know from my synagogue doing some bra shopping. After I finally convinced Allie that it was perfectly normal for people to shop for and touch bras in public and that yes we can go into the bra department even if we aren't shopping for bras, we approach my acquaintance and as she turned and looked at me, she squealed with delight. Now, let me tell you, she is not a teenager, she is a very well respected woman in the community with 2 teenagers and well, she exclaimed, "Meryl, its great to see you. You look wonderful - and congratulations, how far along are you - you must be so happy?".

Ok, WTF??????

But I clearly couldn't say that to her, instead I just mumbled something about not being pregnant.

On just how many levels did this woman ruin my moment? Ok, no, I'm not pregnant! So, I'm immediately reminded of how much I want to be pregnant, how much the whole world knows that and how much I am so not pregnant. And so that leads me to the other way in which salt was thrown on the wound - if I'm not pregnant, then she clearly thinks I look that way - so that means she thinks I'm fat! Now its not a secret that I'm fat - I clearly know I'm fat and obviously someone looking at me knows I'm fat - but do we really need to tell someone that they look fat (and if someone thinks you look pregnant and you aren't pregnant, than you clearly appear fat to them, right?).

Now, as some of you know from previous posts, I was on Nutrisystem from January till Aprilish and I lost a little more than 20 lbs. I have managed to keep most of it off. . . but I still need to lose LOTS more. So, its not like I lost 50 lbs and was looking fit and fabulous and gained some weight back and appear pregnant. Its more like, a few months ago I was really fat and I lost a few pounds and now I'm just fat.

So, I'm still not exactly sure what to make of this - does this mean she thinks I look fatter than the last time I saw her? But then why the, "you look wonderful"? Does this mean she thinks I look pregnant? Well, let's be honest here - until I was like 6-7 months along with Allie, no one can really tell the difference between a fat person and a fat pregnant person - it all kinda blends in. . .

So, I have decided that I'm not really sure what she meant by anything she said, other than I have a few pieces of unsolicited advice for you:

1) If you don't know if a person is pregnant, please don't ask how far along she is!

2) Don't tell someone you don't know if they are pregnant that they look wonderful and then congratulate them on being pregnant because the only thing that woman will walk away with is the feeling that she is fat (okay, and maybe sad because she isn't pregnant. . .).

And the moment ends even better when my daughter (who ironically just 30 minutes earlier at lunch learned what the word pregnant meant) - who clearly caught bits and pieces of the conversation - looked at me as we walked away and said now she knows why my belly is so big, and when is the baby coming out?

So, I leave you with. . . WTF?

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The Mom said...

I'm sorry that ruined your day...for the record I deleted a photo dh sneakily took of me in my bathing suit, can we just say SHAMU? I'm getting off the computer right now (in 20 minutes) and doing my exercise tape!!

Mommy Meryl said...

My husband always loves to take pix of everyone close up and when we are hanging out by the pool - and for that I say that its easier to delete than to argue! :-)

Kelly D said...

I don't recall you being fat, and I didn't meet you that long ago. I must admit I laughed a few times, especially at the "WTF" because they were SOOO appropriate!

Veronica said...

I laughed so much when I read this post! (I'm not laughing at you) The same thing happened to me a few years ago when I was working out at the gym on a treadmill(!!) I just smiled and said "no, I'm not pregnant I just need to run faster".

My Vision said...

I enjoyed this post, though I feel bad for you and the lady who said that, because of the humanity of it. Very well written article.
People say the stupidest stuff sometimes. Just this afternoon I was holding my 11 month old daughter and someone came to the door and asked how "he" was doing. She was wearing pink!! duh!

Veggie Mom said...

Some people just have NO IDEA! Be happy with who you are, and forget about people like that "well respected woman." I wonder what makes her so respected, anyway? After two kids, I'm several pounds heavier than I was way back when, and it's nobody's business! I've got an idea that might put you back in your Festive Fourth mood--I'm hosting a Giveaway that starts tomorrow. Do hope you'll stop by!

Harper's Mom said...

Maybe that woman had just come off a two martini lunch. Sorry it ruined your day. Next time you see her be sure to ask her who colors her hair.

Sara Rose Tutus said...

I am sorry. That just stinks. I hate when people are stupid.

Kim @ What's That Smell said...

I really hate when that happens! I never assume unless it is blatantly obvious!

Thanks for stopping by and leaving a get well wish for my friend, I really appreciate it!