Beams and Bars. . .or Brownies?

I think I am a bit melancholy tonight. My hubby doesn't really think I have a reason to be - but perhaps its a chic thing. Or maybe just a Mommy Meryl thing - and that is okay. I am comfortable knowing that I can make too much out of something at times.

I don't know if you were in brownies/girl scouts growing up, but I have really fond memories of it and again, it was one of those things that I immediately thought about the minute I found out I delivered a girl.

Okay - maybe not exactly the minute after I gave birth, given that I had an emergency c-section and in drama of it all, they tore my uterus and couldn't get it to stop bleeding. When they finally were able to close me up, my hubby and I were told there was a good chance in the next 24 hours I could have internal bleeding and they needed to get our consent right then and there to put me under and go ahead and give me a full hysterectomy because that would be the only way to stop the bleeding and save my life. But, that is a whole other story (and thankfully those 24 hours passed uneventfully and I have all my "parts"). . .but I just did want to clarify for those that remembered my delivery drama that no, it wasn't the minute I delivered Allie. But definitely very soon after when I was thinking about all those amazing things Mommies get to do with little girls, I began to get excited about the day Allie would be old enough to be in Brownies.

Well, the day that Allie was old enough to start Brownies/Daisies came last year when we started Kindergarten and I was excited to sign her up for a troop. I was sorely disappointed to learn that at our very large elementary school (over 700 kids) that the world of Brownies/Daisies/Girl Scouts has never been very strong at our school. I grew up with Brownies meeting right after school (I remember even wearing my dorky uniform to school - remember those sashes with all those badges?), but there were no after school troops at Allie's school. And, there was only one option for Allie's age at her school - a troop with only 3 other girls in her grade that met at 6:30pm on Wednesday evenings and the rest of the troop was predominately older girls.

Just getting out of Pre-K and still getting up at 5:3am, Allie was usually asleep by 7:30 and I couldn't even imagine starting an activity as late as 6:30pm for her. And on top of that, I teach Hebrew on Wednesdays from 4:30 - 6 and Allie usually comes and spends that time with her other friends at the temple. It would have been an awfully long day for her and I just decided to pass on it last year with the hopes that something else would pop up the following year.

Well, guess what? The following year is here. . .there are 2 of Allie's good friends that also want to do Brownies - I too love these girls and really like their Moms and the thought of Allie doing Brownies with them was really attractive to me! I had even decided that if Wednesday at 6:30pm was our only choice, I would give it a shot this year. She is a year older and even though I didn't want to add another late night to her schedule (with gymnastics on Tuesday & Thursday from 6 - 7:30pm), but Brownies were important enough to me to give it a go.

So. tonight was a general informational meeting and everything seemed fine until the troop leader said that this year she might change Wednesday nights to Tuesday nights due to her own scheduling conflicts. So, I asked what time, in the hopes that she would tell me it was after school. Well, no such luck - the troop would be meeting from 6:30 - 7:30. My heart sank - she couldn't do it because she has gymnastics.

I immediately told the mom of Allie's friend that unless they come up with another option, it sounds like we will have to pass because Allie has gymnastics and gymnastics is her world.

But with that said, the troop leader did say they are going to have an organizational meeting (apparently this one was informational which is significantly different than organizational - who knew???) in mid-September and they would solidify the meeting time at that time.

When the meeting was over, I got in the car and headed home and I couldn't quite shake this feeling I had. While Allie loves gymnastics, she also really loves these two girls and I don't know what her answer would be if I told her she needs to make a choice between continuing gymnastics or doing Brownies with her friends.

So, it made me sad to think that she might not love gymnastics enough to continue it because she would rather do Brownies with her friends (she can be very much like her mother in that if she knows her good buddies are doing something she doesn't want to be left out of the activity - even if that means not doing something she really wants to do just to be with them). But it also made me sad to think that she might love Gymnastics too much and not want to quit gymnastics and would miss out on this whole amazing Brownies experience.

So, I expressed my feelings/concerns to my hubby and he said that he already thinks I'm pondering and worrying about it more than Allie will. He says once we know all the facts and times, just to ask her and she will simply give me an answer and be happy with it. He said I could be creating a problem that might never exist in that he felt she would be able to make a pretty quick decision and be totally okay with it (unlike her mommy!). He also pointed out to me that nothing is set in stone and she can always change her mind at any time about either.

I told him that maybe we just won't say anything to her. He said that was a fabulous way to create another problem when she hears two of her closest girlfriends talking about all the fun they are having in Brownies together and she looks at me and asks what happened and why isn't she in it because she told me she wanted to be in Brownies with her friends. Which is true. She started talking about wanting to be in Brownies last year when our neighbors were selling girl scout cookies.

So, instead of walking away from this "informational" evening excited about Allie's involvement with Brownies, I am feeling a bit sad that it might all come down to a 6 year old making a choice between gymnastics or brownies. . .a choice I don't think a 6 year old should have to make.

Before you tell me not to worry because maybe a new night will pop up at the organizational meeting, I know that could be a possibility. But I take my ability to stress and ponder about things I don't know the final answer to and have no control over very seriously - I'm really good at it!!

So, I'm curious - tell me, what are your thoughts? Is this a chic feeling I am having - or is this Mommy Meryl moment of being a little more dramatic then necessary?